Today I have been married for 11 years. It’s been the most believable ride of my life…. I can look back and now and say that it is obvious that God has been with my wife Cortni and I the whole time. There were really good times, really bad times…. and everything in between. We have 2 beautiful children named Avery and Haven that have made our lives a million times more fun and though they have a tendency to wear us out… there is no doubt in my mind that my children are an amazing gift from God. Today is a special day and right now I am on an airplane flying to Kansas City, while my wife and 2 children are on the bus headed to Buffalo, NY for a day in a water park together. Which I begs the question… what the heck am I doing? Leaving my wife on our anniversary. That question brought me to a better question… how did I end up with such an amazing, gracious wife who would put up with all of my junk?? That’s where the idea for this blog came from:
How did I know that I wanted to marry Cortni??
I watched her. The first time I ever saw Cortni I knew there was something different about her… she had no ego at all. She was playing volleyball at a church picnic with a bunch of youth and, as I remember it, she was focused 100% on them. Laughing at herself, making jokes about herself…. she was the life of the party and she wasn’t even trying. Before I ever laid eyes on her, her reputation had already preceded her. Everyone at the church was talking about who she was, how cool she was, and how excited they were to have her as the churches summer youth intern. The first day I met her I knew full well that I was in trouble if she was half as perfect as she seemed. But that wasn’t enough for me. So I watched her even more. I watched her serve the youth of our church without regard for herself. I watched her take them to the beach and then in spite of the fact that she was a dancer and was pretty much PERFECT on the eyes, she was modest and always wore a T-shirt over her bathing suit…. yeah it seemed weird to me then too, but I’m thankful for it now. I remember that she served the homeless… she led bible studies… she made me feel really insecure when it came to my relationship with Christ… mostly because she was so strong. The more I watched the more I knew that she was everything I could dream of… and then I really wondered for the first time in my life… am I a good enough man for a girl like her?? Then my prayers came simply to this…. “God if you’ll let me have just 1 chance with this girl, I promise I will never mess it up”. So I prayed that while I served along side of her for a whole summer. Over time our relationship grew out of a service to the Lord… that was the basis for our relationship. That basis has served us really well through the years. But if I could boil it down to just a few characteristics that made it obvious that I should marry Cortni I would say this:
Merciful:
She saw other peoples weaknesses and loved them any way. When the option was available and just to be angry with someone she always leaned toward mercy… which as it turns out has saved my tail a thousand times since we first started dating almost 14 years ago
Confident:
She always had an unbelievable confidence in God, His provision, and His plans. When I would falter… she would not. When I would lose faith, she would turn to the Word and remind me who He was (as it turns out, this has saved my tail a thousand times as well) She has always been confident enough to let me lead our marriage even though we both know she was the stronger of the two of us.
Loving:
Cortni always had this unbelievable mother like quality to her. This became obvious when I had my face shattered in a basketball incident at NC State. This loving, nurturing attitude is what sealed the deal. I knew it was hard for her to look at my face when it was swollen and bleeding and cut, but she did it anyway and she tended my wounds with a tenderness that only an angel could possess.
Selfless:
I’ve never known anyone more focused on serving others on the planet than Cortni. She doesn’t have a BLOG to talk about all the “great” things she’s doing for the world, because she’s busier DOING them than talking about them. My wife is not a self promoter… though she could absolutely dwarf many people, including me, with her accomplishments. You guys will never know about them, but I promise if you get close enough to her, you will feel what I’m telling you now. She LOVE’s people with a selfless love and she will receive her crowns in Heaven. I have no doubt that I will even be blown away by the things she never told me she did.
Self Control:
She is not a talker… You will not hear her bash another person who she is having a dispute with, (which again has really helped me out again) on twitter, facebook, or in person for that matter. She doesn’t have a dispute with me and then go talking about how horrible her husband is to all her friends… nope she calms down and then comes to me to talk it out ( and I always figure out that I was a moron!! haha) By the way that whole talking to other people about your spouses failures only breeds more of the same from them… before long you have 10 angry wives/husbands telling their stories which only breeds more and more frustration. Stay out of that… that is a marriage killer.
Resolve:
There was always a resolve in her to see things through no matter how hard it got. In everything she does, she WILL NOT QUIT. She finishes what she begins, and that quality may be the only thing that we shared when we began our marriage 11 years ago.
RESOLVE:
My one good quality !! She knew I was dead set that we would make our marriage work till death do us part. I didn’t say “we’ll see” when we got married, I said “I do” and I meant it. I was dead set that I’d stay by her side until I breathed my last breath, and that I would always do my best to provide for her and our family. Every other quality that she had…. I didn’t. I was the polar opposite to her in every other quality… Prideful, Arrogant, strong willed, big mouthed, selfish…. but there is good news for those of you out there like me. WE CAN CHANGE!!! I am so thankful for my beautiful wife and our wonderful family…. and I guess if I was writing this blog for anything I would admit that it is to let my wife know how much I adore her.
But in a world where the divorce rate is just as high in the church as it is in the secular world I wonder…. what if we actually looked for these Godly characteristics in the people we loved? What if instead of diving into a marriage with a person based solely on infatuation we decided that we would begin to challenge status quo and build these characteristics in ourselves and the one we hope to spend our lives with. If you’re already married to someone who doesn’t display these characteristics get on your knees and pray for them. Pray that God will soften their hearts to His calling on their lives and remember… they can change! That’s what the past 11 years have been for Cortni and I. She’s just been whittling away every day, challenging me in ways that you can’t imagine. Daring me to cry…. challenging me to love… holding me accountable to the word of God, in short, making me a better man. You want to know if you’re supposed to marry the person you’re dating??? Do they make you a better man or woman of God? There’s your answer… that’s what 11 years have taught me. I’m thankful today, and I hope today finds you thankful as well.
Blessings,
JRoy
Jason,
First off, Happy Anniversary again to you and Cortni. What a blessing you guys are to each other. Cortni sounds like an amazing, Godly woman that could teach the rest of us a few things. 🙂
Secondly, your blog has yet again blown me away! I wish I could say that when Mark and I got married we had a strong foundation built around God, but honestly we didn’t. We had just rededicated our lives to Christ earlier that year and were still learning. After dating for 6 years, we just knew that we loved each other and this was the next step. This year we will celebrate our 10 year anniversary(16 years together), like you guys we’ve had our great, good, bad, worst, and everything in between. We have both grown in our walk with God and God IS our new foundation.(we renewed our vows in 2008 after 6 years of marriage) Your post has put a challenge on my heart to strive even harder to dig deeper into our marriage. Thank you for opening my eyes even more! 🙂
Many blessings,
Felicia
Than you Felicia… You are always such an awesome encourager… You mustve read that verse Eph. 4:29 before! Always love your comments!!
Jason,
Awe, thank you and you are very welcome! 🙂 Ya, I’ve read that verse just a few times! 🙂 Encouragement is a wonderful & powerful thing, it can give us hope, just when we think there is nothing left. And btw, you are pretty awesome in the encouraging department too, have you ever listened to any of your songs??!!! 🙂 Be blessed my friend! 🙂
Felicia
You two are absolutely a beautiful couple. We may have never met, but I can tell! I really look up to both of you.
This post really does speak to me even though I’m still in my mid teens, but even so, I have intensely studied God’s will for marriage and I’m always learning something new. Gotta prepare for the future, right?
I met someone with Godly characteristics and we became best friends. I watched him and became more and more blown away. However when I began to feel that certain way for him I felt silly because I was so young! I always guarded my heart as I’ve been told, but truth be told I allowed myself to let it in this time because it felt right. I mean, he helped me break out of my shell, he helped me grow my faith in God, and he generally made me a good person.
Long story short, when I made up my mind to tell him how I felt, I learned quickly that another girl had taken his interest.
Talk about crushed… I never saw it coming… and I never felt so hurt. My mother passed away after a courageous battle with ALS not long after and it made everything worse… And this was only in May.
Everything swiftly went downhill for me and it was a fight to figure out what to do. Fast forward to today, after a complicated series of events, I’ve recommitted to God after straying so far in my confusion.
My mother always told me that that God’s perfect match for me would come at the right time. I’ve always believed it and always will. But this young man showed up with such perfect timing and he stood by me and supported me at the point where my mother’s health took a rapid decline and all the way through. Everything seemed just right, but then that happened.
I’ve been seeking help from those whom I trust in this difficult time. I understand that I just have to wait and see, and not wait on him to break up and go for me or anything crazy like that, but wait on the Lord and trust He has a plan.
I’ve grown and learned so much throughout all of this. God’s brought so much good in the midst of the bad and for that I am thankful.
I will continue to wait for my man since after all, I have a lot of growing up to do as well.
Thanks for sharing this story, Jason. You’re a big inspiration to me in so many ways, and your music also brings peace and understanding to me time and time again.
God bless you and your family, and Happy Anniversary!
I wish my husband loved me half as much as you love your wife.
congrats on your ann. I wish you all the love in the world.
I left this on another reply, but was not sure if you (Sophia) would see the comment…so I am reposting it as a reply to your story….
I feel as though I must address Sophia….May God bless you honey. I am so sorry for all you’ve been through this year. I, too, recently lost my mother and the pain is still very real. I am well into my 30’s and have children of my own, so I could not imagine how you feel at such a young age. One thing I can tell you is….Joy DOES come in the morning and KEEP your commitment to your walk with Jesus. He will continue to heal your wounds and you will feel whole again. You sound as though you are a smart young lady and I applaude you for sharing your story. God bless you sweetie!!
Natalie: Thank you. I most certainly will. 🙂 God bless you too!
Patience is a really tough one for me, but the older I get the more I am sure that patience in my life couldve saved me a ton of heartache. I like where you are right now. There’s this song called “Listen to the sound” that was written by this aweso…… Ok just joking…. But seriously the line “sometimes it takes the silence to finally hear his plan” was inspired by the hard moments where our patience has to prevail over our need for progress. Sometimes the most progressive move you could make would be to wait on the Lord. So be encouraged and find your strength in Him and in time he will reveal His will for you!
Thank you. Haha, but believe me; I’m working on patience 24/7! I began with one inch of patience that drained quickly (I used to be extremely short-tempered and on occasion I still can be if I don’t control myself) but somehow, thank God, I’ve made a change for the better and I continue to improve and learn every passing day. Needless to say it still gets tough and I flare up at times, but I’m glad I have more self control than I used to.
But I agree. Patience is vital, and like you just said, sometimes it really is the only progressive thing we can do. I finally admitted to that not long ago after running around in some kind of hurry to get somewhere the whole time. So instead of rushing around, I’ve gotta quiet my spirit so I can listen. I might not understand right now but I know I will, soon or eventually.
Focusing on Him will make these bumpy ups and downs less jarring!
I’ve been attentively strengthening my trust in Him since it’s so easy to get caught up and drift away from Him. But really, I don’t claim to be perfect, not at all. I make so many mistakes, but we all do, and no matter what we just have to learn from them and move on, right?
Thanks a lot, again. God’s been speaking to me through you and and so many others.
I love this! Honesty and love. Happy 11th! Your blog challenges me to be an even better wife!
How wonderful! Congrats! I can’t wait to hear about the 25th and the 50th and who knows how many more after that! 🙂
I pray that you both keep your eyes on Jesus and that our Father keeps you, your wife and children under His wings always.
God Bless you all!
Jason, I only know you and Cortni through church and even that is in passing but I can tell you that your kids are wonderful and happy and that is a reflection of your marriage. Happy anniversary to both of you. 🙂
It’s totally not perfect… but it’s true love… love that doesn’t give up when it gets hard. I’m thankful for that too. Keep checking back in… i’m writing a new blog called “6 Reasons I’ll stay married to my wife” that is going to be pretty insightful!!
Jason
Happy Anniversary!
That is totally beautiful Jason. I think you 2 complete each other & your music speaks loud about who you are. I have had the pleasure of meeting her a couple of times, Richmondhill & Savannah, Ga. & she was so sweet & your kids are so precious. You truely have been blessed. I want to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to the 2 of you & thank God for bringing ya’ll together. Keep on singing & spreading the Gospel through song & I pray God will bless ya’ll with many more years of marriage.
congratulations!! so very refreshing to see this blog and all of the amazing qualities of your wife…you can hear the love you have for her loud and clear:) Love what you had to say about self control, and how bashing your spouse to others should def be avoided…great advice. Wishing you many more years of happiness!!
Hi Jason & Cortni,
Congratulation’s to 11 years of marriage together! I enjoyed reading about all things in marriage, and the sincerity of Jason’s feelings for his wife. A man that truly loves his wife and cherishes her is a blessing! The heart of Jason came forth with adoration for Cortni and you can see it! May God Bless you with so many many more wonderful years together!!! Phillip and I too have had our ups, and down’s as well. I think in all seriousness, and real reality all marriages do. We have been married for soon to be 15 years, and together with dating will be 16 years next March. I can tell you our love, and 7 children have held us together the most with God. The 9 of us and God is the foundation. We haven’t always been so lucky though, both sets of parents did not really want us married,… we have had a time; it is hard to get along when noone wants too, and everybody over the couple wants control. We have endured, and we plan on enduring till the end, as Jason says,”till death do us part.” We are the same! You are so right instead of working it out and going in for the long haul, most want the easy way out, and decide to end it all too soon. I am thankful for those like Jason and my husband and other’s here, that we have not let that flame die out. I am thankful too for my husband, for I know over anything else that God had put us together as well! Thanks so much Jason for sharing a part of you and Cortni with us on your special day!!! You also help me to be more of a better person in everything I do, you and Cortni! Thanks again for sharing this special time with us! +Building 429+ – Rocks!!! Jason- God Bless You Always!!!
Love and Prayers,
The Harris Family
Phillip & Crystal Harris
Proud of you and what your family stands for. Honestly my wife and I got married a bit young as well, but as I said before even the so called “mistakes” can be turned into a success story when God takes control and we let go!! Here’s to the next 30 years hey?? Keep fighting for it… it’s worth it!
Thank you.
Congratulations! We are celebrating our 11th anniversary today as well. It is nice to know that there are others committed to marriage. Here’s to another 11 years and beyond.
WOW ! Thanks for that. Congrats on your anniversay. You have totally inslpired me to write a why I married my husband! We are trying to have “every day “is our anniversary. I think one day a year to celebrate may be more in line, living life does get in the way. However, that being said, Please Thank your wife and kids, for sharing your gifts with us. I was thrilled to see they were on their way to buffulo, cause through an answered prayer I am off to buffulo at 6AM with my hubby and kids tomorrow too. I hope you get some great down time with them in the evening, but you see….. because they were gracious enough to let you go, my family gets to have SUNDAY NIGHT AT 6:30 be the highlight of our week! We are staying for the rest of the week, but please know and tell the rest of the guys, that we have been waiting for SUNDAY NIGHT at 6:30 since well, December 3rd really. Yes, those crazy Canadians ( from Barrie )will be waving our flag and have 3 generations just praising God with you. We have been touched by the entire listen to the sound album. YOu have to know, God bless the rest of your trip and if you need a real campfire, cabin 40 is home of the greatest outdoorsman ever ( named Henry) and we ALWAYS have marshmellos ready for smores around the clock!!! God bless your travels and your family. Thanks for the reminders and inspiration.
HEather and Henry Hooymans
and Andrew, Christopher and Sarah
Happy Anniversary to you both! Don’t worry, you will get to make it up to her soon! Praying for you and your family while you are apart, I know it stinks, but you can do it! We just had our 15th, but will celebrate it in December when he gets back from overseas. It could always be worse, right 😉 God bless you!
I had no idea you had a blog! Congrats on your anniversary and thanks for sharing such a moving post. Awesome testimony that the world definitely needs to hear.
To take the time to write this says so much about you Jason..to take time to find it in your partner says even more. These type messages shared in living life’s walk are really needed today. God Bless you both! Thank you so much for sharing this. : ) Happy Anniversay as you celebrate your triangle of Love living this life for HIS Glory..God Above joining two hearts. ☼♥”
Dear Jason,
Thank you for sharing your heart with us, I love how honest and humble you are. I am not married, I turn 41 next week Friday, there are times I wonder if there is a man out there for me. I have left it in the Lord’s hands. I have had the honor of meeting you twice, I live in Edmonton, Alberta. You made me feel very special that night, when you gave me a hug. Happy anniversary to you and to your wife. I hope one day to meet a man who loves the lord and will love me for who I am. God bless you and your family. You have a special place in my heart, I wanted to tell you that when we met but I was too afraid to. I have matured a lot in the past two years. I am now working at a job that I enjoy. My boss is a huge encourager to me, I am being trained to be a supervisor. I love the music from Building 429, I hope that you will return to Edmonton again some day. Love Marjan
Dear Jason,
I am glad that you have a blog, I love how honest you are, I love your ministry. Happy anniversary to you and to your wife. I hope that you had a blessed day. I have met you twice in person when you came to Edmonton. I hope that you will come back to Edmonton one day. I wanted to tell you that you have a special place in my heart, I was too afraid to tell you that in person because I didn’t want to cry infront of you, I didn’t want to embarass you. Your songs have helped me through a very tough time in my life. Last year I was very depressed, I didn’t like the job I was in at the time. Now I am working at a coffee shop, I enjoy this job very much. I am being trained to be a supervisor. My boss is very encouraging. This is a very good message that you wrote, thank you for being honest. I am a single young woman who has never been married. I turn 41 next week Friday, there are times I wonder if there is a man out there for me but I have left that in the hands of God. I love how humble and honest you are. I love the music from Building 429. I have seen you guys three times now, I hope that you will return again some day. I love reading your blogs, I was very moved when you hugged me after your show in Spruce Grove. God bless you guys, love Marjan
Happy belated anniversary!!! Once again thank you for this blog… I connot relate to this at all, but you and Cortni sound like the perfect couple. Well mentioning that alot of people come to me for “love life” advice. I’ve never heard of this before… But I guess thats because everyone gets caught up in outside looks… Never past the skin. I’m happy for you two. My uncle is one that can’t see past skin and, um, it never works. Yeah he sees a girl, “hey wanna go out sometime?” “Sure…” About three months later. Well everything is bad. Nothing ever good happeneds. My mom and uncle are closer that my mom and aunt, so a family kinda torn cause he brings her in like he has been married to her for 5 years. Well once again thank you for putting your time into this. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! God bless you and your family. And may his arms be a shield around you and everyone you travel with. Keep rockin’ for God. Never stop no matter what it takes. You have no clue how Your music has affected my family. My brother has a band now some guys we go to church with. The lead singer takes songs and has added bridges to them and wrote some. “How He Loves” is amazing! Well I hope your “adventures” lead to many lives changed. Once again keep rockin’ oh and by the way, you have some pretty awesome hair!
Happy Anniversary to you and Cortni. I was introduced to your music by a friend of mine. Your songs are so powerful with good messages. Even though I have never been married, I have always believed that marriage is something sacred which should never be taken for granted. God bless you and your beautiful family.
Happy Aniversary to you and Cortni. What you wrote on this last post was very meaninful to me, it makes me wonder about girls in my Life. It really reminds me of Proverbs 31. Have u read that? Thanks for what you write. I love it. Keep it up. Awesome Awesome stuff. 🙂
P.S – The Last paragraph in this blog really has made me think on a lot of different things. Thanks.
TG
Our young people so very much need couples like you and Cortni that can be held up as an example of what can be good and right in a marriage when two people work at building each other up as so many of them have only known and see what can go terribly wrong in a marriage/relationship. If there was one message I had to choose to put into the hearts of our youth/young adults today it would be the message you have conveyed in this blog! So many young people long to find/have what you and Cortni have found but they don’t have a clue on how to go about it; quite often the Godly characteristics that truly matter in a life partner are often overlooked and/or overshadowed by more superficial and worldly qualities that many of them have come to regard as important in a partner. This blog will make a beautiful lesson/discussion for youth on what characteristics they should be developing in themselves and looking for in a life partner; for those already involved in a relationship it will provide an opportunity to evaluate their relationship, where they are, and where they want to go. Most importantly it will totally capture their attention and challenge them to self evaluate their own characteristics and what those characteristics can bring to a relationship/marriage. It is often difficult to find ideas and/or approaches that will create an excitement and hope in youth today, but I have a feeling your thoughts in this blog will do just that and with your permission I would very much like to share them in an upcoming lesson!
Blessings and gratitude,
Debbie
What an amazing testimony to the power of God’s love. You too are so blessed and such an inspiration to us single gals. May you have another 11 years of marriage and beyond. You are such an amazing man of God and I pray he continues to bless you and your awesome ministry & family!
I knew Cortni in college and I was always amazed at her humility. She is a woman of grace. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met! I always admired her. Jason, you got yourself a real gem. I am sure she is a fantastic wife and mother!!
Jason,
I was a dancer with Cortni on our college team back in the day. She was an intrigual figure in my life (although I didnt realize it then) and planted a significant seed that later brought me to Christ. I so wish that she and I had been closer when we were in school together. I want you to know how happy I am that you and Cortni found each other and I believe that God made you two for each other. You’re a great example of what a husband and father should be and Cortni is in good hands (God’s and yours)! I am blessed with a wonderful Godly man who sounds so much like you!! I’m so glad Cortni has such a relationship, she deserves it! God bless you both and your family!
Hi! Greetings from Argentina! I wanted to tell you Jason that I was very blessed by this post. What you said about Courtni that she made you feel insecure about your walk with the Lord because her’s was so strong really encouraged me to keep waiting for a godly man who makes me feel the same way. God bless you and Courtni, you are an example and inspiration for many of us. 🙂