I remember the wedding rehearsal, the way she walked, the way she talked. She wore a purple outfit and seemed to float around the church hall. She had all of her best friends with her and she was a picture of joy. I knew how lucky I was… I knew she deserved someone better than me, and that my job, for the rest of my life, would be to become that person. She loved me anyway. I was 21… I couldn’t seem to hold down a job, and all I ever talked about was how some day I’d be a professional musician and she wouldn’t have to worry about a thing. HAHA…. how little I knew about life. I now know that some-day doesn’t really exist…. the only day that exists is the one that you’re living right now. She was 23 and fresh out of divinity school with a masters in Christian Education and Missions…. What did she see in me???? I still wonder sometimes. More importantly… what the heck did her parents see in me?
I remember my father taking me aside and telling me how proud he was… and my mother’s tearful warning telling me “Son, this is serious… you don’t quit on this… you fight for it”. At the time I had no idea what she was talking about… today I know that she meant that Marriage is a commitment that you don’t back out of… and that it really would be hard…. man she was right. Thanks mom.
I’ve rarely seen the look in Cortni’s eyes like I did the day of the wedding… for the sake of pictures they let us see each other in the sanctuary for a few moments before the wedding… she was stunning. A picture of elegance… she looked like Royalty, a woman of strength and dignity… but that look in her eye… it was special. I remember we just stood there together… frozen in time, in the sanctuary surrounded by a rainbow colors as the stained glass filtered the sunlight drifting from outside. The look in her eyes…. “Can I trust you?” “Are we going to make it?” “Are you afraid too?”
Yeah I could read it…. and the only other time that I remember seeing that look was 2 years later when our precious little boy Avery arrived. I must’ve taken the picture, but there with Avery in her arms I saw the same questions in her eyes, and I’m so thankful that somehow it’s caught in a photo for me to remember for all time… valid questions from a woman who deserves answers.
The honest answer to her questions for me were simple. “I promise that I will fight for us for the rest of our lives”. As an out-of-work 21 year old dreamer it was all that I could offer…. but it must’ve been enough because the wedding went off without a hitch. I remember the music, and 1 song stands out among them all. You’re gonna laugh and it’s ok if you do… but we literally walked out of the wedding hall to the song “Testify to Love” by Avalon! Yeah I know, you’re thinking WHAT??? But it’s true, and I’m actually proud of it… you know why? Because LOVE ISN’T COOL. Love is reckless… love is ridiculous… love is impetuous…. love is whimsical…. LOVE DOESN’T ALWAYS MAKE SENSE…. but LOVE WINS. Yeah for a few moments Cortni and I weren’t cool…. I wasn’t wearing black like I always do… I didn’t even know what a V-Neck was back then… but I knew one thing… she was the perfect person to help me become who I wanted to be.
12 years later I now see things in a much clearer light… God really did put us together. God knew that I didn’t need another fan…. she believes in me to be sure…. but in every situation she sees how I can be better. God knew that I needed someone who would be dedicated not just to me but to Him as well. Every morning she spends time with the Lord… 5:30 every morning she’s up and moving. God knew that I was a night person and needed a morning person to help me be more aware of time management and efficiency. God knew I needed patience, so He gave me and unbelievably patient wife. God knew that I would fail… so he gave me someone who would lift me after I hit the ground. God knew that I needed humility, so He gave me an humble wife. God knew that I needed a challenger so He created a will in her that can’t be broken. God knew that I had spent most of my life completely misunderstood… so He sent someone who would take time to know me… who wouldn’t fall for the facade… someone who would be able to read me from across the room. Am I outgoing?? To you, yes… but to her… she knows why. Am I confident?? To you yes, but she knows why and if I really am. She knows it all and helps me to to focus on not being who I am… but aspiring to be BETTER.
I remember the purple dress, and I remember the wedding, and all of the struggles that brought us here… my wife isn’t perfect…. she makes mistakes, but you’ll never know about them…. you know why?? Because I see the best in her even when she fails. (Which is rare) .
August 4th…. 2013… 12 years… and I’m still so amazed that I get to call her mine. So here’s a question for you:
What do you see in your husband or wife that makes them special???
I see everything I hope to be in mine. That’s why I can’t wait for the next 12 years, or for that matter until I breathe my last breath.
WOW, that was great and caused me to remember 39 1/2 years ago when I looked into the eyes of my wife, my best friend and said I do, I do promise to be by your side till death do us part, I do promise to do my best to take care of you the rest of my life, I do promise to lead our family as God leads me and so much more.
Hey if you want another or a 2nd career I think you could be a writer. LOL I’m proud of you Jason!
Thanks Tim…. I do appreciate you… and without knowing it you were one of the great examples of a marriage that worked in my life. Seriously, I know it wasn’t easy, but you guys were a great example to me of what it could be. Thank you man.
What do I see in my husband of almost 19 years? Besides the great father and godly man that he is is his unwavering loyalty. It is said that one of a woman’s top needs is security. And while he is a wonderful provider to me and our family the fact that I have never doubted his love and commitment to me is what I value most. When I am discouraged about how I think I look (you know women and their body issues) I know that I am the most beautiful woman in the world to him. Marriage is not easy, but knowing that he’ll fight for us for life makes all the difference. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Beautiful. THIS IS TRUE LOVE.
My dad loved my mom until the death and sat beside her as she took her last breath…even though they had been through so much that should have torn them apart. God was in the middle.
Obviously, I’m not married! But learning from you two has been a big deal. You and Cortni are truly extraordinary people. Human, flawed, but extraordinary nonetheless. That’s because God is in the middle…and I just wish more marriages had that today.
In October Brian & I will be married 18 years. In fact we are still going to celebrate by flying to see you guys in Lucedale. I think the key to the pure joy of my marriage is the respect I have for Him. In the 20+ years that I have been with him, do you know that we have never raised our voices or yelled at one another? Not even once. We have been through a lot. Four babies -two kids here, Grant & Hannah. Two kids already in heaven Savannah & a miscarriage. We stood together and we stood on our Rock to get through it all. Thank you for sharing your love for Cortni. It’s just so beautiful to hear.
P.S. Grant was bummed he didn’t get to see you this weekend, but he thought it was way cool that you remembered his name. Made his day. Oh, & he says he would have beat you bad with the rubber bands 🙂
Yeah that rubber band game was weird… not my thing… but basketball would’ve been ten times better!!! Can’t wait to see you guys in Lucedale! It’s gonna be awesome for sure!
Wow…just wow! Another great blog Jason! Your love for Cortni is crystal clear and so amazing! You are both blessed to have each other. Happy Anniversary again to you love birds. Here’s to many many more blessed years in love. Much love to you both! 🙂
And…you have me thinking about the many reasons I love Mark. We will be married for 11 years (17yrs together) this October! We’ve had our share of ups and downs, but with God we have continue to fight through. I am completely in love with him and am blessed to be his wife. Thank you for sharing your heart. Your blogs always encourage me to open my mind and heart and dig deeper. Sometimes we get so busy and forget about the important things and why we are where we are in life. Life and marriage is not easy, we all struggle, BUT it’s worth the fight! Be blessed my friend!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, after reading your posts I would love to know what Cortni’s thoughts would be sometimes….
Well, on June 17th of this year John and I celebrated 7 years. One, of many, amazing qualities that John has for ME is unconditional support, he is an amazing husband and an exceptional father. He is so special and a true gift from God. Thank you for sharing with us parts of the most intimate day of your life.
I am glad that my mother-in-law and I were able to bump into you again at Spirit Song in Cincinnati, I hope I got your Starbucks order right!! John and I were walking the park with our son later that night after your show and we saw you, Cortni and your 2 beautiful kids playing a game, we were going to say hi but knew that was your “family time”, I am so glad you get to have them on the road with you. Be blessed and maybe we will see you again on the Klove Cruise.
Just wanted to say first of all that this blog really meant a lot to me. Im only 17, so obviously im not married, but what you said really spoke to me. I really get down sometimes when i see my friends having girlfriends, and i don’t have one. I worry if i will ever find someone. That last paragraph, saying God knew. That really spoke to me and reassured me how God is in control and how I know He has somebody for me. He has somebody for me to help me be a better person; to know me. Going into the ministry, following His calling to my life, I know God has a plan; for everything.
Thanks for reassuring. Ill see you on the united we stand tour. Got a vip ticket. cant wait.
Wow what a beautiful testimony!Congratulations and may God bless your marriage.May you always be together and just as in love! I am single and I am trusting The Lord to pick just the right person for me as He did for you!As always you inspire me with your honesty and give me hope!What do I hope to find in a spouse? Someone who puts God first and helps me as I do the same!Who knows I can only love,because Jesus loved me first!
What an awesome tribute to Cortni and the love you share! Joe and I are approaching 24 years and on our 10th anniversary we renewed our vows in front of all our friends and family. The first time down the aisle, though young and naive, I had no doubt that he was my soul mate. But the second time, for him to stand before me after all the triumphs and trials of our blended family, and say, with eyes wide open, I do it all again, well I just can’t describe it. It meant so much more the second ceremony because we both knew how hard it is and how committed you have to be. God knew exactly who I needed and I can’t thank Him enough for bringing Joe into my life.
Jason and Cortni, congratulations on the first 12 years and the best is yet to be!
Congratulations on 12 years of marriage. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. I always love reading your blogs. I am not married, I hope one day to marry. My parents pray for me every night for the right man to come accross my path. My parents have been married for over 46 years, they love eachother more now than the day they got married. Happy birthday Jason, I hope that you are having a blessed day today. Thanks again for your blog, I always look forward to reading your blogs. Take care, God bless you. Marjan
Awesome blog, Jason. Congratulations on 12 years of marriage. I am not married, but my parents were married for 47 years before my mom passed away in 2008. Like any couple, my parents had their moments, but they never went to bed mad at each other. Marriage is an institution that is taken so much for granted these days. If God is at the centre of your marriage, you will survive all of the bumps. Marriage isn’t easy, but it is worth it with the right person. No, I am not married, but I would like to be. God willing if it is what He wants for me. God bless you, Jason and your beautiful family.
Awesome blog, Jason. Congratulations on 12 years of marriage. I am not married, but my parents were married for 47 years before my mom passed away in 2008. They had a good marriage. Marriage isn’t easy, but it is worth it with the right person. God bless you, Jason and your beautiful family.