So what you may not know about me is that while in my blog posts and on stage I seem like one of the most positive people you’ve ever heard from… the truth is that in a lot of ways I tend to be the antithesis to some of my writings. I am by nature a somewhat negative person. Driven to the core, I tend to find what is wrong and harp on it way more than I ever see what is right and what is going well. I have used that to propel myself forward toward insanity for a very long time with the constant thought… that I’m not negative, I’m just a perfectionist. Just recently my son has brought to my attention some of the new songs by one of the manics of music Eminem.. in which he raps… “I’m friends with the monsters under my bed, get along with the voices inside of my head, you think you can change me, stop holding your breath… you think I’m crazy… but that’s not fair.” To be honest… it scared me how honest and truthful Eminem was being in this song. Not to mention that many of his other new songs speak to the insanity of trying to keep up and keep being relevant… rapping, “I’m a slave to the very thing that’s killing me”. Upon first listen I felt sorry for him… but then it occurred to me… THAT GUY IS ME! Oh NO… that guy is me. Wait… that guy is the American Dream. That guy is 95% of the people in my life who are constantly trying to get ahead. That guy is all of us. The song is a HIT… and why shouldn’t it be… we all relate to it. But Status Quo is not something I’m cool with…. so I thought I’d share 5 simple things that i try to do on a daily basis to keep myself from becoming friends with the monsters inside of my head.
1) GO TO BED ON TIME
How can you ever expect to get up the next day with a patient, gentle spirit if you stayed up till 2am staring endlessly at Facebook walls?? Come on guys you should know this one… you can’t be effective if you’re constantly exhausted. Self control is a must on this one. (BTW… this coming from a night owl… I used to work until 2am every night chasing the voices inside of my head and I was a horrible help to my wife and kids…. my wife challenged and I have effectively moved that back to 11:30pm every night…. which still leaves a way to go, but you wouldn’t believe how much better I feel in the morning. You also wouldn’t believe how much more I can get done during the day than the night)
2) Get UP EARLY
How many mornings have you woke up late and had to run through the shower… scream at someone to help you find your keys and then dash out the door just to leave your family in a wake of chaos and destruction for the rest of the day. Again you get to set the day up how you’d like… so get up early… get some coffee…. get a few moments of perspective and prayer and be ready to say “I love you” first not…. ”OH MY GOSH WHY DID YOU LET ME SLEEP THIS LATE??
(Editors note…. my wife is the bomb at this one… thanks babe for teaching me to get up!)
3) List what you are Grateful for ON PAPER.
I have been given a lot… A TON… MORE THAN I SHOULD HAVE… but it’s only “not enough” when I start measuring what I have against what others have. So I try to start my day with this thought…. What am I grateful for?? Answer (My beautiful wife, my amazing kids, my church family, my friends in B429, my family)
4) Pray for someone else and keep a list on PAPER
I know people all around me who I am in the act of intercession for their needs. Why not actually pray for them and their needs??? Because I don’t have enough??? That’s lame….. it’s easy to be thankful and gracious when you are consistently in a state of prayer for those around us who are actually in need.
5) Start the morning with a cheerful “I LOVE YOU” and a hug!
Amazing how your first words to the ones you love literally set up how their day and your day will go. We get a choice here. Start with a simple “I love you” and a hug watch how the day changes. Seriously… try it and see how your day goes. Your loved ones will find a different frame of mind when they are operating from a place of acknowledged LOVE.
Ok so they are simple things, but these things help me to calm the monsters under my bed so that I can be more invested in the people that I love than the jobs that I could literally chase 24 hours a day straight into a STRAIGHT JACKET if I chose to.
Can’t wait to hear some of your thoughts on this as I’m still learning. Bring the suggestions my way!!!
Jroy
Glad to see a new post! the big things that I do to make my day better are as follows
1. Try ( and i mean try) to read the Bible every morning.
starting my day out hearing what God has to say to me helps a ton!
2. Pray every moment i can throughout my day.
Talking to God helps me calm my nerves, gets me to trust, ending worries.
3.watch what i see, and get away from what i should.
keeps me away from sin.
4. help others and do my best to imitate Jesus.
Best feeling in the world from the Holy Spirit!
Oh boy. Sounds just like me.
Actually, these simple steps are just about exactly what it took every day for me to beat depression. I was a victim of constant negative thoughts, this “emotional cancer”, for about 5 years. Yes, by the power of God, I did beat it! As of mid-March.
Here are some of the additional things I do…
1. When I get up in the morning, I make myself some coffee and read the Bible.
2. Talk to God throughout the day. Not elaborate prayers, just talking to him.
3. I stay hydrated and take a 15-20 minute walk every day. Keeps me more focused and my thoughts less scrambled.
There are always balanced physical and spiritual needs! Because I’m a bit of a workaholic…okay, not really, but maybe…these things contribute greatly to the endurance of my sanity. Haha.
On another note, I’ve been thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. Being on this tour must both be a blessing and also very trying. Me, I almost collapsed from working so hard, and I only worked 2 days! Hahaha!
This is well timed.. My husband and I have been working on this for a while and some of your tips are right on the money…
#5 is a requirement of ours.. every morning starts with a good long hug and an I love you. Our day can’t start without it.
#1 is actually being thankful for the little tiny blessings that come in each day. We both have some physical challenges and can easily get bogged down.. We take time each day to be thankful for the little things-having each other, for God granting prayers, and just the little things we tend to take for granted..
It’s the little moments that matter the most.. the go, go, go of everyday gets to be to much if you don’t take time to sit back, relax, and laugh a bit…
Once in a while a day off to do nothing is the best medicine. 🙂
#1 is actually being thankful for the little tiny blessings that come in each day. We both have some physical challenges and can easily get bogged down.. We take time each day to be thankful for the little things-having each other, for God granting prayers, and just the little things we tend to take for granted..
It’s the little moments that matter the most.. the go, go, go of everyday gets to be to much if you don’t take time to sit back, relax, and laugh a bit…
Once in a while a day off to do nothing is the best medicine. 🙂
I’m so happy to see your blog posts back up! I’ve missed them. But this is what I needed to hear, Jason. I really need to work on some of these (when I say some, I mean all of these). Especially the reading my bible everyday. I’ve actually started reading it today before my 9 a.m. class. Because of you, I’m going to start doing this. But some of the things I do to start in the morning is get up and get ready for the day, even if I don’t go anywhere that day and get myself something to eat or drink, (sorry, I’m not a coffee drinker). God bless you Jroy for all that you’re doing for the band, for your family, and for God. You’re a blessing to me and to everyone that comes in contact with you. I’ll see you in NC soon:)
I love this post! I agree with them all and will also say the two things that really help me is 1.Prayer/God’s Word: it makes SUCH a difference when I start my day this way. 2. Just as you said, writing down what you’re thankful for and saying it out loud. I did the 1000 gifts, Ann Voskamp study and began keeping a gratitude journal. It was life changing. Thanks for this post jroy!
Love the idea of a gratitude journal… That may be a new addition to my morning routine!
I have gratitude journal too! I just haven’t written in it for a while…I need to get back to that. It really does make a big difference!
Ive never thought of doing a gratitude journal. Thats a great idea. Thanks guys.
Jason,
Soooo…ya, I could’ve totally wrote this one. You a perfectionist…ha, I would’ve never known!!! (Ya, right
Ok….delete this…this is missing over half my reply!!! Idk what happened!
Jason,
Soooo…ya, I could’ve totally wrote this one. You a perfectionist…ha, I would’ve never known!!! (Ya, right
OK…ignore those other 3 posts…I have no idea why it only posted part of my reply. So, lets hope the 3rd time’s a charm…if not, then I give up and Ill email you my reply and you can delete the posts so I don’t look like an idiot…LOL!
Jason,
Soooo…ya, I could’ve totally wrote this one. You a
perfectionist…ha, I would’ve never known!!! (Ya, right lol!) I, too am way too much of a perfectionist…which I think you know. Sometimes it gets the best of me. I am trying to learn that there are things I CAN control and things I CAN’T control and I need to accept that. Not easy, but working on it. Recently I had a friend tell me to stop worrying about things I can’t control and to just “let it go” what a wise friend! 🙂
So, the morning thing…here’s how my mornings go…
1. Pray with Mark as he is leaving for work!
2. Run a hot bath, grab my bible and do my devotions.
3. Pray
4. Shower and get my girls up!
5. Breakfast and out the door for school.
6. In the car we listen to music…only after we listen to (your going to think this one is stupid, but it’s true) Set A Fire! That song has been huge in my life and pushes me to do more. So thanks for that!
I can honestly say that if #1 #2 and #3 are not done, my day is just blah, not bad, just blah! I used to start my day with #1 and then on to twitter and Facebook. I was putting stupid stuff before God and I could honestly feel like something was missing. So I quit that and now start my days out in my bible. And if I’m running late, I always stop, grab my phone and do my devotional online…thank goodness for the app!
Now are my days perfect…heck no, there are many bumps in the road that we just have to move past and keep going. But I do notice a difference when I don’t start my morning with God and a good nights sleep!
You have me challenged to add the grateful list and to say “I Love You” first before anything else. Jason, thank you for being you. You are a good friend and constantly put challenges on my heart. God is using you my friend! Now…I have a challenge for you…don’t be so hard on yourself, you are who you are and only human! There are going to be days that go to crap before it even starts, but you can make the choice to make it awesome! We all have monsters in our heads…but they can’t have us!! 🙂
Be blessed and much love to you, Cort, Haven and Avery!
–Felicia
After moving over 3000 miles to get out of an abusive relationship, God healed my heart and when I was ready, brought the man who is now my husband into my life. He influenced many great habits that are now in my life like sleeping at 10 pm. When I met him I was working third shift in a casino so needless to say my schedule and life were way different. Seven years later, I’m in bed by 10pm up by 5am and working in Christian radio.
1 – Start and end the day with a kiss and I love you (as long as we are together, I am occasionally away).
2 – Forgive. Before I met my husband, I went through about a month of work with God where I went over every hurt and struggle and forgave. I asked God to bring to mind every offense that has held me in bondage both from the actions of others to my own. Sometimes we forget how badly we need to forgive ourselves. Or is that just me?
3 – Ask what this says about me. Sometimes my reaction to someone’s behavior is really about me and not them. I have to ask God to help me with that.
4 – Prayer and praise. I journal prayers every day and I also have a day planner that I use to pray for others. I find that my own issues are at the very least out of my focus when I focus on praying for someone else. Praise is something that I have a habit of embracing, but I am now taking part in a 30 day praise challenge. I praise the Lord for at least 20 minutes a day as I follow a book by Becky Harling. Already I am floored by the change.
5 – Spend purposeful time with God. Recently my pastor reminded me about how Jesus wants to spend time with us. I imagined Jesus sitting with me while I am wasting time playing Candy Crush. Can you imagine? This is not to say that I shouldn’t enjoy a little veg out time, but if I haven’t spent time with the Lord, I need to re-think.
6 – Eat breakfast. This is not just about the most important meal of the day but the fact is that I am not 100% if I am not taking care of myself. I notice the difference in the way my work day goes when I do not eat.
7 – Watch at least one cute pet or kiddie video a day. I dare you to not smile when you watch a cute little puppy frolicking. Sometimes we make life heavier than it needs to be.
8 – Pray when I’m driving. I am at my most edgy when behind the wheel. It is really easy for me to go off on a not so nice tangent. By keeping in prayer, I am protecting myself from beginning my day and ending it on a negative note.
This may seem like an odd list, but it is what currently is working for me. 🙂
Wow… Awesome list.. I’ll have to add that puppy kiddy video thing to my day!! Great thoughts.
Jroy
Jason,
I do not have a list at all. I want to try your list out (if that is OK with you)? Does it really work, Jason??
When my husband lost his job last year – as a family we went on a “God-Watch”… It started with keeping our eyes open to how the Lord would provide financially for us in this new adventure – it quickly grew to watching for how he would pour His love on us in big and little ways. In addition to spending time in the Word and praying, I would say that this is something I do every day and it makes my day better.
I love the gratitude journal idea – Ann Voskamp’s book 1000 Gifts is a MUST read to discover the depth of how this can be absolutely life changing in our daily living and perspectives – but, as I have been learning to find what I’m thankful for… I’m seeing God work in amazing ways and showing up in ways I never saw Him before.
I’ve trained my eye (and this may sound silly – but it speaks so deeply to my heart) to find “hearts” in nature… the shapes in the branches of a tree, a heart shaped rock, clouds in the sky, etc… they are like “love notes” from my King. Even my kids go on “Treasure” hunts with me and often point out a heart they find in His Creation. I’ve added these things to my gratitude journal.
I also received some fabulous advice from a business mentor of mine… He challenged his son with the question, if you had 3 hours to spend, how would you spend them? His answer was:
Spend the first 1-2 hours out on a run and praying… than the last hour working.
Those first two hours do wonders for the mind to make that last hour more productive than it would otherwise be.
Finally – I keep coming back to Revelation 12 where it says, “We will overcome… by the blood of the lamb and the words of our testimony…”
When I feel like my mind is going crazy and my perspective is all weird and I find myself befriending the monsters inside my head… I feel like everything is impossible… and I need to be reminded that “We will overcome” – I love that this verse says we will overcome by the blood of Jesus but also by the words of our story!! We have to share our stories with one another… our stories of God taking the ashes and ugly and transforming it all to beautiful… and that helps me keep my perspective through my day… hearing other’s stories and sharing my own story of Him working in our lives.
So – I think if I were to make a list it would look like this:
1. Spend time with my King… in the Word and praying
2. Do something physical – get outside and exercise
3. Be on a “God-Watch” and notice the big and little things He does… either a “love note” in Creation in the shape of a heart or by providing for us financially in miraculous ways.
4. List out the gifts God gave me during the day
5. Share my story
And – I think out of those things, my thinking changes and I am better at showing how much I love my family and those close to me on a daily basis.
Thanks for the post Jason – always an encouragement and challenges me to think a bit deeper.
(I’m sure going to bed on time should be on my list… I am also a night owl and struggle with this one still. 😉